A Real Woman: Thoughts about Beauty and A Poem ReWritten

What is a real woman? If you asked most of my preteen students, they would likely tell you that a real woman has boobs that she flaunts and wears a tight mini-skirt (with legs that kill). She wears eyeliner all of the time. But most importantly, she will do anything, including back-stabbing and physically confronting and attacking, to defend herself and her reputation. To tell these girls to "walk away" from a fight was like telling them to come to school in their underwear; it would ruin their reputation and they would be the laughing stock of the school.
A recent conversation I had with students reminded me of the preteen view of womanhood. I was holding several girls during lunch for lunch detention. During this time, Hope*, a very spunky, say-it-like-it-is 6th grade girl, started justifying why she passed a note during class.  __________ [insert name of female student] said _____________ [insert biggest insult imaginable] about Hope. She said she couldn't just let the other girl get away with the gossip, so she had to fight back by spreading rumors of her own. Of course Hope knew that passing notes and starting rumors was wrong, but in her mind, it was justified. That's when I realized I needed to take a step back. This was all about her value, how she is valued, and her reputation, not really about passing notes during English class.
Who knows if she and the other girls involved in the note-passing situation even really heard me, but in a last-ditch effort, I looked at them and said, "You need to remember how beautiful and valued you are--each of you! You need to hold your head up high and walk on by, as if to say," I demonstrated my best  head whip and finger snap, "'I'm better than that. I know my value. I know my worth, and nothing you can say will change that!' Let it roll off you, forget about it, and remember how valuable you are."
So it's with these thoughts in mind that I decided to rewrite "If" by Rudyard Kipling. A classic poem that my students read, Kipling's poem contemplates value and worth of a man and manhood and what it means to be a man of integrity in a difficult world. I'm no Rudyard Kipling, but I thought I'd share a Christian female version of this poem. This is the first draft.

The Kingdom is Yours

Female Version of Rudyard Kipling’s “If”

If you can keep your values when all around you

Are losing theirs for popularity, to fit in

If you can believe your worth and beauty

Yet not be vain, nor degrading, nor sin,

If you can wait for love, and tire not of waiting,

Or being gossiped about, not deal in lies,

Or being rejected, not take joy in rejecting,

Or being heart-broken, not languish in lovers’ sighs

If you can still dream, though dreams be shattered,

Put your faith in God, though hope seems far away,

If you can look for promises in the broken world,

And wake up with faith and joy each day,

If you can find peace in the turbulent storms,

And find joy though it be scarce to find,

And if you can accept the pain and suffering,

Yet not let grief consume your mind,

If you can meet with Death and Disaster,

And laugh in their faces a haughty laugh,

And take joy in the beauty of creation,

Without being lost on the world’s path,

And if you can hold your head high when others doubt you,

And walk past them knowing who you are inside,

And if you can listen to their critiques and criticisms

Yet always let the Lord be your guide,

If you can  stand strong when friends dessert you,

Persevere when others say they are through,

Walk by faith when sight no longer avails you,

And all around you try to stop you, too,

If you can wear the crown proudly,

Yet still be a servant, meek and mild,

Yours is the kingdom, and everything in it

And what is more, you’ll be a woman, my child!

*Hope is not the student's real name.